BeingDads started because I was an angry dad. I set out to change that. It's taken years of research, work, trial and error and saying sorry, to crack it. But I have. Now instead of being filled with rage, followed by regret, on a regular basis, I can count the times I've lost it on a few fingers over the last year.
If you're here you know what that particular type of regret feels like. It's horrible. You've let yourself down, but worse is the example you've set for you kids, the complete opposite of what you want them to be. You're giving them an impression you don't want. That their dad is angry and they are the source of that anger.
I've tried everything I could get my hands on over the years to help. Some things did, most didn't, which is why I did the work on myself, and why now I've built this course. I've trialled it again and again until I was happy it worked for others, not just me.
It's based on psychology, behavioural science (part of my day job) and child development insights. One thing for you to do every week for seven weeks. It's designed to fit into a busy working week, there's no video you need to make time to watch and no site you need to log into.
Every Thursday for seven weeks, you get one email with an exercise and accompanying PDF so you can save it to your Kindle or iBooks app so you can find it later. You do the exercise and take a step forward to becoming a more patient dad.
At the end you get the full course materials, with some extras, as an ebook for you to revisit whenever you need. Alongside this you get a few retrieval cues, proven tactics of behaviour change, to keep you on track - wall paper for your phone and a few postcards to put in places you'll see regularly.
It's designed for working dads with kids aged 2 - 11 that want to have a better relationship with their children.
Seven exercises for each of the seven weeks, the retrieval cues come at the beginning and the full ebook at the end. Here's a sumary of each weeks' exercise.
1. Getting motivated
The first week is about getting clear on your motivations for being a more patient dad. This is a really important step because it's this motivation that will give you the strength to make the changes you need to, especially when it's hard.
2. Getting your family on board
Then it's onto talking to your kids and partner (if you have one) about how you can all work together to make your lives better. Making situations easier in the first place means you can avoid those stressful situations when your anger, frustration and annoyance come into play.
3. The morning routine
The third week is about getting a short, simple morning routine into place that sets your day up in the right way from the very beginning, regardless of what's happened during the night.
4. Reacting in the moment: Part 1
With solid foundations laid, the next step is about getting to grips with the moment when your anger takes over. Part 1 teaches you a technique to catch yourself before your impatience kicks in.
5. Reacting in the moment: Part 2
Part 2 teaches you a four step process to working with your children to help them through those moments when they’re testing your patience.
6. Expectations vs. reality
Nearing the end, we look at one of the most prevalent reasons your impatience gets triggered. We unpick it, using a guide for child development and a short process to help you stay in control now, and for years to come.
7. Keeping it working
The final part of the course sets out a very simple system that, when followed, will give you the insights you need to being more and more patient, whatever your situation.
It's £120 for the seven week course, with postcards, mobile wallpaper and ebook. The money helps me do more work on BeingDads. Paying for something is also important for behaviour change, because it's an expression of commitment. Evidence shows that when it comes to changing behaviour, making a commitment and thus facing a loss makes change easier.
If however you are unhappy with the course at all, you'll get a full refund, 100%.