This came courtesy of Justin, a fellow father and reader, thank you sir.
It’s about dealing with those public tantrums. Something we’ve all experienced. What this made me remember is that we are separate beings from our kids. While their behaviour reflects on our parenting over the long term, to some degree. In the short term, particularly when they are in the 2- 6 year range, they’re learning to deal with their own emotions and reactions to the world around them. Losing their shit is a natural part of that, and it’s only by experiencing extremes of emotion can they learn, slowly how to deal with them. The idea of punishing them, or heaping on shame because of the embarrassment they’re causing you isn’t helpful.
After all, our job as parents is to help them learn how to be great people and citizens. It’s not for them to represent us, to symbolise our own greatness. That’s a self-centered view that betrays adult deficiencies. Not that we’re perfect and we don’t feel like this, but it’s helpful to remind ourselves of it.
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