If ‘but it’s not fair’ winds you up, read this because a little bit of understanding can make things a lot better.
A simple technique that will make your life, and your children’s better.
We need to think about the different speeds our lives move at.
Mourning your past self, the man you no longer are, or no longer can be because now you’re a dad is a very healthy thing to do. If you don’t do it, you’ll be carrying around the frustration, sense of longing and loss that will creep out into your interactions with the people you love most. The people who you chose to bring into this world and who love you unconditionally.
For me, this poem talks to that transition far better than I ever could.
Men at forty
Learn to close softly
The doors to rooms they will not be
Coming back to.
At rest on a stair landing,
They feel it
Moving beneath them now like the deck of a ship,
Though the swell is gentle.
And deep in mirrors
The face of the boy as he practices trying
His father’s tie there in secret
And the face of that father,
Still warm with the mystery of lather.
They are more fathers than sons themselves now.
Something is filling them, something
That is like the twilight sound
Of the crickets, immense,
Filling the woods at the foot of the slope
Behind their mortgaged houses.
Donald Justice 1967
Insight’s from David Epstein’s latest book applied to parenting, how the very idea of ‘getting ahead’ is unhealthy and insidious and therefore what you should actually do to help your child be the best they can be.
They will try and crush the creativity out of your child. They can’t hide, you can’t protect them, so what should you do?
The implications of psychological safety for raising your child through the school years.
I climbed a mountain with my children and learnt a lot more than I expected to, a lesson that will help me be a better parent for their whole childhood.
We repeat things every day, but do we want to?
Does what it says on the tin.
An incredible poem about getting older. Something we’re all doing but never acknowledge.
How do you strike the balance between being age appropriate and wrapping them in cotton wool so they don’t develop to their real potential?
No one tells you about the boring, but important things you need to do as a parent. The things that are much easier to sort before you have a child, but you never get around to because they are too boring. Instead, you spend years working out what they are, then take another few years to sort them out. All with that nagging, feeling you should really get one of them sorted rather than sit on your arse on the sofa.