Checking email for 10 seconds while the kids are in the other room is a bad idea if you want to make the most of your time with your children and build strong relationships with them later in life.
Career or kids, what’s a dad to do when facing that choice?
Recently I got an email from dad called Rob asking for advice. He had a promotion to consider, with more pay, but less time with his family. He asked me how I would think about that decision. Here’s an edit version of what I said, together with thoughts on the stories of work we tell ourselves. One healthy, the other not. Which do you listen to?
What happens when you settle for moral mediocracy as a parent?
We’ve all taught our children to lie, inadvertently. What are the implications of this for them as they grow up? What can we learn from the how society has changed, as we look forward at how it will change? How will the degree of morality we consciously and unconsciously teach our children set them up for sucess in the future?
What it’s like to be a dad
Thoughts on how fatherhood changes men and how men are changing fatherhood.
What the All Blacks and the Japanese football team teach us about raising children
Lessons on responsibility from moments that surprised the world, even though they shouldn’t have when you think about it.
The Parental Guilt of Working Dads
The guilt we feel as working dads comes from the stories we and others tell ourselves. How we can learn to listen to it when it’s helpful and learn recognise it when it’s unhealthy.
I’ve stopped my kids from saying sorry. It wasn’t the plan.
Saying sorry is something I’ve made a conscious effort to do more of with my kids, because it helps repair the connection with them when something has happened to break it, like me nagging or getting cross at them for something they’ve done. It also role models values that are important to me, humility, self-awareness, taking responsibility and kindness.
So when my kids say sorry, I feel good. I feel they are growing, that I’m being a good dad. But recently my kids told my wife that they don’t see the point in apologising to me, because I don’t listen. This was hard for me to hear, so I asked them about it.
The way we work makes us impatient parents, but we can change it
Recently I ran a workshop with a high profile financial asset management firm. The dads in the room were all super smart. Hugely driven, disciplined and results focused. A great strength in the workplace. A real issue in the home.
Should you ask about what they want to be, or what they want to do?
Our children will have to continually learn and change as they get older. No job for life, more likely multiple careers. How do you frame work in a healthy way for them when they are young?
Insights from a billionaire, a career specialist and The Pool show how we can help our kids avoid a future of unemployment.
Jack Ma, China's richest man says schools will create unemployable people. A career specialist questions the conventional wisdom of achievement. What are you going to do for your kids?
Our kids need to be bored to breed their creativity
What can you do if you want to help your kids be more creative, so they have a solid foundation on which to build a fulfilling life?
How suncream made me see things from my son’s perspective
Suncream led me to a realisation about how seeing things differently made life better for me and my son.
I’ve only got six summers left with my son
How a change of perspective made me realise how little time I have left with my son.
How much sleep your kids really need
The specifics of how much sleep your child needs, and some beautifully calming and sweary words from Samuel L Jackson.
Curiousity in kids’ brains and how it helps them learn even boring things
How curiosity works and how you can harness it to help your little ones learn, even boring things.
How I've become a more present dad
Leaving work at work and really being there for your kids is no easy task. Over the years I've experimented with different approaches and found one that really works.
When routines for your kids don’t work, you might be the problem
Routines are great for children, but if you don't know how they understand time, you could be setting yourself and them up for failure.
Applying mental models to parenting
Much wisdom has been distilled into mental models. Many of which we apply to work, but rarely do we consider their help in parenting. Here's the best that you can start using straight away.
These questions will make you a better dad
Most people search for answers, but answers always depend on the context. It's better to hunt out good questions. These are some of the best ones fathers can ask themselves and their kids.
How to get your kids to tell you about their day
They don't understand how much we want to know about their days, their dreams, their hopes and their friends, especially as they start to live their own lives. Here's how to get that precious insight into their changing lives.