Mental and physical health and fatherhood
Brian Comly, M.S., OTR/L, is a husband, father of two, full-time occupational therapist (OT), a certified nutrition coach, and the founder of MindBodyDad and The Growth Kit. He's a self-described nerd who enjoys learning, research, and self-experimentation which he has combined with his passions for health, nutrition, performance, stress management, neurobiology, and parenting.
How does it make you feel when your kids call you ‘dad’?
Hearing the word “dad” is a game-changer. At first, it’s just another sound in their small vocabulary, something they’ve learned to say, maybe even on repeat, without fully knowing what it means. But over time, that single word gets loaded with emotion: joy, pride, frustration, even sadness. It becomes the bridge they use to reach you, whether they need help, want attention, or just want to feel close.
In the thick of everyday life, the constant “dad, dad, dad” can be overwhelming, especially when you’re exhausted or juggling a dozen things at once. But I often pause and remind myself: This is the time. What I mean by that is that this is the season when you're still their entire world. That won’t last forever. One day they’ll be older, more independent, with their own families, friends, careers—and you may not see them every day, every week, or at worst, much at all.
So when I hear “dad,” I try to treat it as a cue to ground myself. To be present. Because I know someday I’ll miss these interruptions. I’ll miss being their default person. One day, I’ll wish I could rewind to this moment.
What do you struggle with that you think you shouldn’t?
Balance. Even as someone deeply rooted in health and personal development, I struggle with letting go. I want to optimize everything—my time, my kids’ health, their development, my work—and sometimes that leads to tension. I think I shouldn’t struggle with presence or patience, but I do. Especially in moments when I’m tired, overstimulated, or feel like I’m not measuring up as a parent or provider.
And even though I teach the importance of regulation and resilience, I still have to check myself constantly. I remind myself that my kids don’t need a perfect dad. They need a regulated one.
Health is clearly very important to you. How are you introducing your kids to health?
Two of the most important things we can do as parents are:
Create an environment where kids can thrive.
Build a pathway where they can develop autonomy to keep thriving without us.
That’s how I approach health. I focus on the fundamentals:
Air: We use multiple air purifiers around the house.
Water: Tap water is surprisingly grosser than we realize. So, we filter our drinking water with a reverse osmosis system.
Light: I’m big on using light to cue our circadian health—natural light in the morning, red bulbs at night.
Movement: We play outside daily. We jump, hang, hike, and they’re always invited to jump into our workouts.
Food: We stock the house with nutrient-dense whole foods, but also teach flexibility.
At the same time, I try to promote autonomy. That means they get to make some of their own food choices, even when they’re not ideal. I give them a wide range of healthier options to choose from and educate them along the way. We don’t ban junk food entirely because restriction can backfire. Instead, we talk about how certain foods make them feel and function, both in the short term and long term.
When your kids choose not to do the healthy thing, like eating candy or skipping vegetables, how does that impact you and how do you respond?
This one’s tough. Sometimes I wish I were blissfully ignorant of the world of health and nutrition to alleviate the stress and anxiety I so often feel. That being said, I'm not, and I think knowledge is power, so what I do is use that to empower my kids.
When they make less-than-ideal choices, I don’t shame or punish. Instead, I teach. I explain age-appropriate consequences—like how certain foods might make them feel tired, wired, or cranky in the short term and then we discuss the long-term impact. Of course we don’t have these conversations every time but I do let natural consequences do the work where possible.
We also involve them in the process:
Grocery shopping together and reading labels
Cooking and gardening
Sitting down for regular family meals (which are strongly linked to everything from less stress, better family function, improved job satisfaction, and even less engagement in risky behaviors)
We avoid things like the “Clean Plate Club” or bribing with dessert. That kind of food psychology can do more harm than good. Of course, I feel disappointed sometimes when they choose candy over carrots. But I remind myself that they’re kids, and my job isn’t to control, it’s to guide.
I remind myself to control the controllables and let go of the rest.
When your kids are grown and out living their own lives, what will you look back on with pride? What will you wish you’d done differently?
There’s a stat I read once that something like 90% of the time you’ll ever spend with your kids happens before they turn 18. And the first 7 years? That’s the real bulk of it. After that, it tapers off quickly.
So I know that this is the window. I’ll look back with pride if I used it well: if I showed up, stayed present, taught them what matters, and modeled how to live well, love deeply, and move through challenges with grit and grace.
What I’ll wish I’d done differently? Probably slowed down more. Worried less. Put the phone away. Got on the floor and played. Let go of trying to be productive all the time. I think a lot of us will feel that. But I’m trying to minimize that regret by noticing those moments now, while I’m still in them.
What does the word ‘dad’ mean to you?
Dad, to me, means guide. It means being a steady presence, not just someone who’s around, but someone who’s engaged.
It’s not just about changing diapers, driving to practice, or fixing what’s broken (though it’s all of that, too). It’s about building character and raising kids who are kind, confident, curious, resilient, and joyful. It’s about protecting their innocence while also preparing them for life’s complexity.
Being a dad is the most important job I’ll ever have. It’s exhausting, humbling, and often messy. But it’s also the most beautiful thing I’ve ever been part of.
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